Friday 31 March 2017

Is there really plenty of fish?

I am not very good at writing or talking about feelings which is probably why I am single and have never had a ‘long term boyfriend’. It is also the reason I am writing this post-it’s a vicious circle. My attempts at dating have gained some hilarity and finally after a few persuasive words from my dear friend Elanor about blogging about it- I have finally taken the plunge. Don’t worry it doesn’t end with me dancing around my living room, eating ice cream and singing depressing love songs. I’ll leave that to Bridget Jones.
We live in a world now that most relationships-romantic or otherwise-begin online. There are dating sites for everyone and it’s no wonder. Personally I just can’t find time to find someone the good ole’ fashioned way. My dear mum is always asking if I have “someone on the scene”, to which I always reply with “No, I don’t have time for that”. At some point in my life I chose to put my career first and swearing not to date anyone I work with as that just invites complications-how can I realistically meet a man? I’m skeptical of bars as that just invites alcohol fueled regrets.

In an attempt to find ‘the one’ I have trialed a few dating apps and chose to concentrate my efforts on one-the title of this post probably gives it away. I have been semi-successful in that I have been on a few dates as a result the app however for many reasons none of these have reached a second date. Many reasons of my own doing. A colleague in work frequently jokes that I have an extensive check list of exacting criteria my date should meet and that a date with me is more like a job interview than two people on the cusp of romance. There is probably some truth in this but that’s a whole other psychological mess.

In order to actually find someone decent enough to spark an interest on this app there is a lot of time wasters and eye-rolling messages to wade through. Which really does beg the question ‘Is there really plenty of fish’? Let me just give you some examples…I take screenshots of the worst and more hilarious messages in order to discuss the ugly nature of online dating with friends in work. Apologies for the explicit language.

“I would absolutely ride the a**e off you xx”

How charming! I actually received this message twice-and people say chivalry is dead. Maybe I should reply, he did send two kisses. Said no one ever!

“Hey sexy, looking hot. If u were here id b bending u over every piece of furniture in my house and f*cking u hard!! U think U can handle it? Xxx”

What I can’t handle is the incorrect grammar and using U instead of you!

“I want your ass on a plate”
I don’t respond well to cannibalism. 

“Add my snapchat if u like ur men 10.5 inch”

Again with the use of U instead of you. Needless to say regardless of my preference this man was not added to snapchat.

That ladies and gentleman is the pure joy of online dating. Now I can’t say every message is like these but that is not an exhaustive list. What has happened to the world? I know saying “Hey, how are you?” seems boring but I am more likely to respond to that. It is no wonder the guys sending these messages require the use of online dating. If they were to walk up to a lady and say those types of things I know for certain where my knee will end up.

Oh well I will have to go one and maybe one day I will find a genuine guy who meets my exacting standards. My good friend in work met her now husband on the same app so we must persevere.

Have you ever tried online dating? How did you find it? Did you receive charming messages like this?

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26 comments

  1. I feel your pain, why is this dating thing so crap?! Apps like this really do make me question whether or not there are any nice men out there! We'll get there though...that or become crazy cat ladies, at the moment I think I'd rather the cat lady option! xx

    Joanne // Fashion Polaroids

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    1. Hahaha I'm halfway there...already own a cat!! ha

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  2. Hahaha, 'I want your ass on a plate'!!! I actually burst out laughing at my desk!! I guess I was just very lucky to meet Paul so quickly into using POF, although I did get my share of dodgy messages too! :)

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    1. Definitely not into that kind of thing! ha! You were so so lucky!

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  3. I did try this platform a few years ago when I was single and it was mmmm interesting, I did have a few nice enough dates but the messages were something else lol. I have read of some people finding love on apps so you never know :) x

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    1. I still have hope! At least some of the messages make me laugh...just for the wrong reasons!

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  4. So many Tinder flashbacks... I met my now boyfriend on Tinder but he was not the normal type I spoke to! Eventually you start chatting with someone and you end up not stopping!

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    1. Sorry for the flashbacks ha! Nice to hear of another success story!

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  5. I met my fiance on POF 5 years ago. I haven't been on the app since. But I remember getting some messages similar to these!

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    1. Oh wow! I'm hearing so many success stories...maybe I am the problem haha

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  6. I loathe internet dating - I went on date after date with pillock after pillock off there lol! So glad I'm with my other half now, having met through a mutual friend (old school!) x

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  7. I have been single for a few years and tried (briefly) some dating sites. They were full of weirdos! Good luck. Kaz x

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  8. There are some right weirdos on dating apps, I have to agree! I met my previous boyfriend on Tinder and he was nice and normal, we were together over a year - they are out there, honest! :)

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  9. Oh goh I really feel your pain and I'm glad I didn't ever have to rely on online dating. It sounds so crude and downright weird from what I can read. Good luck finding someone.

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  10. Oh my gosh! I briefly dabbled in online dating before I met my husband. Had several 1st dates that went no where. It's worth noting that Hubby and I were introduced through friends at a bar

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  11. I met my husband at a seedy nightclub of all places but I think it's definitely more acceptable to do online dating. I tried it before I met my husband but I kept meeting men just after one thing (or weirdos!) I believe in fate and things happen for a reason so hang on in there!

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  12. Oh wow! Some of these messages are horrendous! Do they really think they'll work?! xx

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  13. Oh my gosh, what apps are yo using! These guys are terrible, but a little bit funny! Im n my 30's and dating is still quite hard, they are ever looking to shag your brains out and hang around or shang your brains out and leave lol!

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  14. I have to say I am glad I am happily married. The people I work with are all on Tinder and they have some hilarious times, some sad times and some times they could never ever share with their parents!

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  15. I have never been on a dating site and reading what has been said to you I'm glad that I haven't xx

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  16. I think you should try other ways of meeting people as well as apps. What about a Singles night in your local pub?

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  17. "I want your ass on a plate" is the best thing I've heard today!

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  18. Some men are pigs, but there are good ones out there. I can fully believe what they said to you. The internet with the lack of face to face communication doesn't help. Have you tried dating sites which claim to match you with a long term partner?

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  19. I tried out online dating a few times over the years and, sadly, received so many messages just like the ones you've described. It's the absolute worst and can be so demoralising. However, I found sites like OKCupid to be a little less aggressive, and I actually met my fiancé on there - but it definitely took a little time to separate the wheat from the chaff! x

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  20. I'm on Plenty of fish and agree with you, there are some really weird people! I've had similar messages, it's like ugh get a grip mate! x

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  21. I've never signed up to a dating site, it's just not my thing. I do know people who have found love on them though.xo

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